Take Your Power Back with Words
- Sep 7, 2020
- 2 min read
Phrases & Language we use that is limiting our power and potential in the workplace
Think about the things you say at work in meetings or in conversation with your colleagues. Society, family, former colleagues have indirectly taught us phrases and language we use day to day. We understand that not all these statements may resonate with you, but most of us are guilty of these commonly used phrases in the workplace. Many times we shrink ourselves in the workplace with belittling language and that needs to stop today sis! Take a look at these statements and see how you can flip them around to take back your power.
*Saying "Does that make sense?" after you've presented/explained something
Instead, say, "Do you have any questions?" Why: Saying "Does that make sense?" invites doubt and makes it seem like you're not confident in what you've just explained. You're belittling the time and effort you put into your research and your words.
*"I love your [insert clothing item, hair style, etc.]!"
Instead, say "That [insert clothing item, hair style, etc.] looks so good on you/suits you/really brings out your eyes, etc."
Why: While not terrible, using "I" insert yourself into what's supposed to be a compliment. It's not about your love of it - it's about how that person looks.
*Using "just," i.e., "I just think..."
Instead, don't say "just."
Why: "Just" belittles whatever you're about to ask or say. It implies insignificance.
*Saying "sorry" too much, even for things like, "Sorry if I'm asking this again..."
Unless you're letting the door slam on someone or whatever, there's no reason to apologize for asking for clarification to an email, for something to be repeated in a discussion, etc.
*Saying "It's OK" when it's not
Instead, keep it moving. If someone keeps you waiting 15 minutes late to a meeting and they come in saying, "Sorry I'm so late," we tend to respond, "Oh, that's OK!" even when it's not. Instead, say something like, "Great! Let's get started!" or "So the reason why I wanted to chat with you today..."
*Last, but not least (and something that's really good for moms): The if/when fallacy
We say: "If you.....then, you can....."
It creates conditional behavior. Instead, say, "When you....then, you can..."Inserting actually: “I actually disagree…” “I actually have a question.” It actually makes us sound surprised that we disagree or have a question—not good!
Using qualifiers: “I’m no expert in this, but…” or “I know you all have been researching this for a long time, but…” undermines your position before you’ve even stated your opinion.
We hope these examples empower you and you share it with other women in your life, especially for women working in white male dominated career fields! Please feel free to comment below any suggestions you have for other phrases we use that are limiting our greatness.
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